she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
