And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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