are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
