you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
