I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
