i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i drank out of a bidet.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
