Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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