Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
