So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
