Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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