I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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