Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
