She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
