He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Are we still banned from the library?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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