Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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