I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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