I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
