I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
