I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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