# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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