the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
well you can't waste a boner
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
