too bad you live with your parents still
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
