Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
