Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
