My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
