I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
