Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
