on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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