I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
