If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
