I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
