i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize
