I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
