That's intense
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
