Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
