I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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