I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
