i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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