We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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