My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
