you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
