sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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