I wish I could teleport
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
