I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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