its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize