fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just had sex on a roof
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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