how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
