I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
