I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
