I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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